When Harry and Draco’s relationship becomes known to the public, Harry hides from the reporters because he hates them after the war just as much as he did before (if not more). But Draco works at the Ministry and can’t really avoid the Prophet and is actually used to being assaulted by journalists (redeemed ex-Death Eaters usually are) so he gets the brunt of it.
And he fucking loves it.
Interviewers ask him about his new boyfriend Harry Potter and Draco just looks at the camera genuinely confused and says, “Merry Spotter?”
“Harry Potter,” the journalist corrects. “The Boy Who Lived?”
“The Bird Who Licked?” Draco says, eyes innocent but his lips curling into a small smug smile.
“Harry Potter, The Chosen One!” another interviewer snaps, annoyed, her quill flicking irritated in the air.
“The Frozen Bun?” Draco asks with a shit-eating smile and can’t wait until he gets home so he and Harry can come up with some new names. They have a whole list.
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